For some women, having multiple orgasms is the sexual Mount Everest of pleasure. However, Stella Harris, Intimacy Educator, Sex Coach, and author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships , tells SheKnows that multiple orgasms can be a bit of a misnomer. “The orgasms don’t necessarily happen one right after the other,” she explains.
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Multiples orgasms come in a variety of formats. For people with vulvas and vaginas, Harris notes that sometimes one kind of orgasm is one-and-done, but another may allow them to keep going. “For example, maybe someone can only have one clitoral orgasm but can have multiple internal (or g-spot) orgasms. Or vice versa,” Harris says.
Meanwhile, some people can have a series of less intense orgasms followed by a bigger one to top it off, explains Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist. “Others find that each orgasm becomes more intense, while others find that the intensity decreases with each orgasm.”
Who wouldn’t want to experience multiple orgasms? But sometimes we can get so caught up in that goal that we don’t enjoy the moment. “There is no right way to have an orgasm or experience multiple orgasms, so just do what feels good for you and enjoy the process rather than keeping count,” says O’Reilly.
If you want to try and pull off multiple orgasms, here are some tips to improve your Big O odds:
“Much like the G-spot orgasm, it requires a consistent and constant stimulation to get closer to multiple orgasms,” says Mackenzie Riel, sex and relationship expert for TooTimid.com. Riel suggests the best way to make the most of this would be to get yourself to orgasm, but as you start to come down from the orgasm, keep the stimulation going. “It will help keep you aroused as you reach for round two. Keep in mind that sometimes overstimulation will have the adverse effect of getting you to orgasm again. Listen to your body and try to feel it out; only you know what it takes to get aroused enough to reach climax.”
Although there are no moves or techniques that will guarantee multiple orgasms, O’Reilly suggests considering these approaches: Press and Pulse: When you feel orgasm approaching, press your hand over your lips to cover the entire vulva. Pulse in rhythm with your orgasmic contractions and see if the contractions become more intense or multiply to prolong the orgasmic experience. Breathe mindfully: Exaggerate your breath. Inhale and exhale purposefully — as slowly and deeply as possible. As you near orgasm, you might be inclined to start taking quick, shallow breaths, but by breathing more deeply and being more mindful of your orgasmic contractions, you might find that they multiply. (If you want to learn more about breath and energy orgasms, check out the work of Barbara Carrellas.) Change techniques: If your first orgasm results from clitoral stimulation, switch to the G-Spot at the first sign of orgasmic contractions. Recent research suggests that exploring multiple regions of the body may be the key to multiples. Push through: When you reach orgasm, the head of your clitoris can become hypersensitive, so you likely avoid direct contact. But if you push through and keep stimulating the area with your fingertips, a toy, or your partner’s lips, you might discover a simple path to multiples.
Using a vibrator can be more effective, if not the most effective way to have multiple orgasms. Vibrators provide constant stimulation, along with different patterns and intensities depending on what gets you closer to climax. “You can use a vibrator made specifically to hold against the clit, and perhaps insert a dildo, or do a twofer with a rabbit vibrator, ” says Riel. “These kinds of toys are designed to be more powerful than using a hand, so they are definitely a good way to get yourself more stimulated.”
“A blended orgasm is an action of having both a clit and an internal vaginal orgasm simultaneously,” Riel says. “When both are mutually aroused, the resulting orgasm can be extremely intense. With this intensity comes heightened arousal, which in turn will make it easier to have multiple orgasms.”
“It’ll be easier for you to have an intense orgasm if you have some form of stimulation that gets you aroused,” Riel says. It could be your favorite porn clip or even a few pages of steamy erotica. “Experiment and try to find what is that gets you going.”
A version of this story was published April 2019.
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